Lawrence Taylor
Okay, we love Lawrence Taylor as a player. He changed the way the game was played.But the zombie version here just plain scared us. Now we know how all those NFL quarterbacks felt.
Pat McQuistan
With a nice haircut and a pose that doesn’t highlight his numerous chins, the Dallas Cowboys’ McQuistan isn’t a bad looking guy. But here he just looks like someone who might chase you with a chainsaw after your car broke down on a rural road.
The Boogeyman
At the risk of being pummelled in a face-to-face meeting, around here we don’t consider WWE a real sport. Still, this guy, apparently half boogey-half man, sent a chill up our spine.
Raider Fans
These were the tamest pictures we could find (where nothing illegal was happening). A Raider fan always looks like he’s on the verge of capturing a visiting fan and doing something really mean to him.
Mike Tyson
The new kinder and gentler Tyson seems much less likely to chomp your ear off, but do you really want to take that chance?
Joba Chamberlain’s Mom
We needed a female representative here–our apologies to Dennis Rodman–and this is what we came up with. Apparently meth benders don’t always have a happy ending.
Marshawn Lynch
Equal parts Predator and football stud, Lynch provides the grill of a rapper as a costume accessory.
Dennis Rodman
Perhaps the most versatile of our entrants, Rodman can at once be a blushing bride or a cabana boy with rainbow hair. All of his looks scare the hell out of us.
Chris Anderson
Kind of a poor man’s Dennis Rodman. But there is no doubt those hair spikes could poke your eye out.
Owen Schmitt
Schmitt inadvertently bloodied himself up by hitting himself in the head with his helmet.
We are particularly fond of Schmitt because he reminds us of the guy we went to high school with who–for a dollar–would run into a wall full speed.
Anderson University Athletic Recruiting.
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